No, I’m not kidding. I dropped my flash drive in the dooryard and Moose, my big yellow mutt ate it. Well he crunched it up and spit it out. It’s probably a good thing he didn’t swallow it, who knows what it would have done to his innards if he had. It had a nearly complete novel on it that I hadn’t fully backed up. You should have heard me bitch and moan about rewriting those last chapters, I swear it was like pulling teeth to recreate them. I never did get the other data off that drive, it was mangled beyond recognition. I should have named that dog The Destroyer or Tank. Destructo, even. Moose just doesn’t do him justice.
About this time someone in the back has their hand up asking “what’s a dooryard?” In the west we might have called it the driveway, but out here in the east it’s the area of the yard where the cars get parked. I’ll show you a picture of mine. Notice that it’s not paved – that’s because I live in Vermont where not even the roads are paved. Okay, so some of the roads are paved, like the interstate and the larger town roads. We even have whole villages on dirt roads. I’m a native Californian, the dirt road thing blew me away when I first moved here.
People used to be afraid to drive into my dooryard. Until recently I had a sweet, if slightly eccentric black lab named Midnight. Unlike most labs she felt it was her duty to protect us from all interlopers, both friends and strangers. Hackles up, teeth bared, she made her displeasure clear. The UPS man was afraid to deliver packages. Strangers almost never had the nerve to make it all the way to the door and even my friends had their doubts. She never actually bit anyone that I know of, but she made it clear she was willing. I think she might have been part lab, part piranha.
The UPS drivers solved the dog problem by dropping packages on the ground in the dooryard and driving away. Which worked fine until Moose came to live with us. He thinks the packages are for him. There’s nothing like coming home to find my dog tossing boxes in the air and pouncing on them. We never did find the Christmas puzzle I bought for the kids’ advent calendar. Eight acres is a lot of ground to cover when searching for things hidden by a hording dog. It makes me wonder what else is out there waiting to be discovered. I would guess the rubber mallet that went missing from the garage at least. And probably my favorite trowel. The underwear that went awol off the clothesline.
And shoes. If the number of shoes missing their pair is any indication, there must be a Shoes.com for dogs out there in my field somewhere.
Zoey, our Beagle mix, is feeling left out. So I’ll just tell you that she is perfectly well behaved, unless there is a thunder storm. Then she eats the house. Think Tasmanian Devil meets Snoopy and you’ll have some idea of what happened to the porch wall. I used to love thunder storms.
Kate George is the author of the Bree MacGowan Mystery Series set in rural Vermont. The latest, Crazy Little Thing Called Dead, was released September 30, 2012, and features a Bulgarian assassin, intrepid federal agent Richard Hambecker, Planet Hair, the local hair salon turned murder scene. And Bree, of course, who really doesn’t like being told what to do. Visit her website http://www.kategeorge.com/
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October 1, 2012 at 9:28 am
Kate George
Hi y’all, Thanks so much for having me on the blog today. Feel free to ask questions, make comments – whatever. Since I wrote this the beagle has decided she doesn’t make enough trouble around here. Sigh. Anyone in the market for a slightly warn and probably senile beagle?
October 1, 2012 at 9:44 am
laurelrainsnow
LMAO here! In addition to the horrifying image of the dog eating your flash drive, I also love the “dooryard” story. I have noticed it in a few books…and I figured it was a regional thing.
Even in California, though, there are some towns (villages, wide spots in the road?) where dirt roads prevail. I lived on one for thirteen years. A neighbor used to kindly deposit a truckload of gravel every now and then.
I cringe, however, at the image of the flash drive and the lost work. I can hear the expletives over here…I would be doing the same.
I am adding your books to my list!
October 1, 2012 at 10:07 am
Kate George
Thanks Laurel,
You know, I should know better than to generalize about California – I grew up at the end of a half mile dirt driveway! Hope you enjoy the books!
October 2, 2012 at 11:16 am
laurelrainsnow
I just love how many similarities there are between regions of this country….
October 1, 2012 at 9:53 am
christytilleryfrench
Loved, loved, loved this post, Kate. So much that I’ve shared it all over the internet. We have a dog who is a combo of yours! Our grand-dog Memphis (a Weimaraner) who eats any and everything (including the ends off fluorescent tubes and tin cans). Our vet advised we give him Pepcid each day because of the nasty sounds coming from his stomach – we have no idea what he eats when he’s not in the house. Same situation with the UPS guy – he drives up and tosses the boxes out because Memphis is huge even for a Weim and likes to terrorize other dogs and adults although in actuality he’s a big weenie. One time, he tore through a box full of vitamins. No bottles were salvageable. Whatever he consumed didn’t hurt him and so far nothing has. I swear, it’s a miracle that dog’s still alive. And he thinks I’m nothing but a play toy to push down and toss around. But who can’t love a dog who loves to snuggle and dance with his humans and is the best guard dog? Living in a rural area, makes me feel more safe. Dogs are wonderful, aren’t they?
October 1, 2012 at 10:08 am
Kate George
Hi Christy, You know, I sometimes think dogs should have the rep for eating everything that goats have! I couldn’t live without mine, they are the best.
October 1, 2012 at 12:33 pm
radine
Gosh, we have a “dooryard” too, and until now I didn’t know that was the term. For many years I have thought a dooryard was something distinctly British and meant the front lawn of a small cottage. Haven’t a clue where I got that idea.
Anyway, we aren’t paved either. Wonder what any Ozarker will say if I tell them to park in our dooryard! Can’t wait!
October 1, 2012 at 12:30 pm
CTHodges
Laughed all the way through this post, Kate. Your Midnight looks a lot like my black lab mix, Des, who’s been known to eat anything he can get his mouth on; flowers, mulch, tree limbs, bird suet. You name it, he’s tried to eat it.
I also have a beagle mix, Fletch. I can’t tell you how many of my husband’s tools he’s managed to get his mouth on and mangle. We finally had to “Fletch-proof” the garage, much like baby-proofing your house when you have little ones. About the only time he isn’t looking for something to chew is during a thunderstorm. He’s deaf, but the vibration from the thunder terrifies him and he usually finds a corner to hide in.
And I can honestly say I don’t know what I’d do without them! They brighten my life every day.
Thanks for joining us on the Dames and making me smile on a rainy Monday morning!
Caitlyn
October 10, 2012 at 6:27 pm
jodylebel
Just got around to reading your post. Love your sense of humor. I went right out (haha– to my desk) and bought your book.
I have a suggestion: but two flash drives. Double back-up every time. Separate them for storage. lol
October 11, 2012 at 8:53 am
katemgeorge
Hi Jody! Ha! I did you one better – I back up my files on dropbox now – if I have internet that is. I guess I haven’t developed the perfect system after all…