Where to begin? First, let me tell you that I endured menopause symptoms for over seven years—not funny at all at the time. AND I hope yours is over in far less time. The good news: this, too, shall pass. Now that I’m on the back side of it, I can laugh out loud and stop having a heavy coat and a bikini at the ready for switching off every few minutes throughout the day!
I’ve always been hot-natured, but I wasn’t prepared for the Fires of Hell moment with vapor fogging my spectacles while I was in deep discussion with one of my high school student’s parents, trying to be the super cool and in-total-control principal-in-charge. I’d quickly thrown off my glasses, hoping they didn’t notice the fog on the INSIDE of them. And speaking of cool, five minutes later, I’d reached for the wool sweater on the back of my executive chair to ward off a chill…in August! This happened many times over the years.
Then there’s the hair. OMG!!! When did hair on my arms get as black and thick as a tarantula? Does this stuff sprout out during the night while I’m thrashing about between freezing and kicking all the covers off the bed? Yes, honey, I REALLY did run naked across the backyard. Now I’m cold.
Ahhh! Hair on my nipples? Seriously? Are you kidding me? Whiskers on my chin? Where the hell are my tweezers? Wait! I can’t see! I need a magnifying glass to get the bitches!
All this stressing just makes it worse. Where’s hubby? He no longer sleeps with me since I can’t be still and I make him hot…in all the wrong ways. By the way, Bub, LEAVE THE AC ALONE! It’s my house, too, and I’ll move the thermostat up or down by ten degrees any time I feel like it! Did you just ask me if I’m in the mood? In the mood for what? Yes, I am. Wait, no I’m not! I’d rather have a fast food combo.
I love to laugh. It’s supposed to keep us young and be so good for us. Laughter does make me feel better. And the panty liners that absorb a hint of moisture or leakage? Mine are now gel packs to wear all the time just in case I laugh (or cry) and wet myself. I recently got caught in a rural mountainous area and nearly soaked myself before I found a questionable station with an untidy restroom. It happens. So I ordered a device—a rubber funnel—no kidding! It allows me to stand up and PEE LIKE A MAN! How liberating!!
I took these experiences I survived and wove them into Slightly Cracked, my first women’s fiction, about two lifelong friends going through menopause and so much more. Early reviewers think the book is hilarious with plenty of pathos. I’m proud of that. That’s the reaction I wanted. As is the case with my Logan Hunter Mystery series, Slightly Cracked is set in North Carolina where I live. It’s available in print and eBook formats. I hope you’ll check out my web site at www.susanwhitfieldonline.com and my blog at www.susanwhitfield.blogspot.com.