Imagine a stunningly beautiful woman with violet eyes and shiny golden hair. She has a flawless 36-26-36 figure, drives a convertible Bentley and runs a charitable foundation to which she herself has donated millions. Her laughter is the musical tinkling of water running down a stream. She has lots of friends who love her dearly.
Now. Who’s with me wanting to push her over a cliff? Who wants the villain to shoot her? (Who wants to yank off her leg, knowing it will never go back on?)
Seriously, I can’t relate to her, can you? More to the point, I don’t want to. She’s boring. She’s annoying. I think I hate her.
How about hair that frizzes every stinking time she sees the real hero? Maybe, driven by the specter of spending the rest of her life with Ken (whom she’s seen in a swimsuit so she knows he is NOT anatomically correct) she writes really dirty novels and she can’t tell her family because they’d kick her out of the dream house. And then one day while giving a speech for her charity in front of hundreds of wealthy donors she spies her handsome-but-bitter editor in the audience–and realizes she’s somehow given the game away and he has realized who she really is?
Dun dun dun! Okay, now I’m interested. I don’t want to push her off a cliff. I might…even…share my chocolate with her if I met her on the subway.
(I still kinda want to push Ken over a cliff though, even though he’s no longer going to get the girl.)
Liz Jasper is the award-winning author of the humorous UNDERDEAD mysteries about beleaguered science teacher Jo Gartner who is bitten by a vampire–sort of. If you don’t usually read vampire books, well, neither does Jo so these are for you! Available now in ebook and paperback. The first in the series, UNDERDEAD, is on ebook special for 99 cents for the holidays.
Liz’s website: http://lizjasper.com
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/#!/LizJasperAuthor (She’s hitting the max so has, reluctantly and resentfully, started a page.)